Hello Gorby, This Is The White House.

I’m about to make a statement that may seem completely ludicrous and absurd. I assure you that it is fact.

The following song may have shaped my musical tastes and influences more than anything else in my entire personal history of music appreciation. Really.

The song is called “American Soviets” and it is by a Russian synth-pop group called C.C.C.P. The 12″ was released in 1986 and was an ephemeral dancefloor mainstay. My little six-year-old ass was introduced to it through a remix by Cameron Paul which was played (very infrequently) by a DJ on 93.3, The Power Pig.

Here is a link to that version.

The story goes like this: one fateful day, I happened to be rolling tape (one of those gold Maxells, probably) on a day that C.C.C.P. made it into the top 40 rotation. I fell in love with the sound and it became my new favorite song. The only problem was that I didn’t know the title of the song or even the band that recorded it. This wasn’t a huge problem for me at the time — I already had the song on cassette, and I wasn’t yet aware that songs fell out of the standard rotation.

“American Soviets” never became a classic. It was never to be heard again on terrestrial radio airwaves. The golden Maxell was lost and only memories of the buzzy “Arabian” synth lead and thumping bass remained.

The song haunted my memory for the next twenty-two years.

Since the Cameron Paul remix didn’t retain any of the original lyrics, there weren’t any lines to Google. Any faint hopes of cracking the case were relegated to internet forums where I would ask questions about “an Egyptian sounding dance song with weird, unintelligible samples.”

Then, one day — one glorious day — the unthinkable happened. I came upon a random internet message board that contained my pot-o-gold. One of my life’s biggest mysteries (M-theory aside) had been resolved.

This song isn’t available for purchase from any online retailers and was never even released on CD. If you’re lucky, you can find the 12″ on eBay. I was fortunate enough to find a vinyl mp3 rip online.

If you listen to my music (take “Happy Friday,” for instance) you can still hear the influence of this song. A song that I thought I might never hear again.

My favorite song.

Thank you, the internet.