Ryan Wendell Bauer: Kitschkabob

This is exactly what my high school was like.

Exactly.

My friend is using that nicotine gum to stop smoking. It seems to be working so far, and I’m very happy for him.

But he’s one of the lucky ones. I’ve got an addiction too; one that can never be cured by chewing gum.

Because that’s exactly what I’m addicted to.

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It’s intervention time.

I’ve got something on my hands and I need to come clean.

99.99% clean.

A few months ago, they installed a bunch of Purell dispensers in my office. And it’s not like I work in a hospital, or a restaurant, or a preschool, or a private booth theater.

They were installed during the Swine Flu scare of 2009.

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Stairway to Stardom was a public-access television series which aired in New York City from the late 1970s to the early 1990s. This amazing variety show featured some of the most mind-boggling, beautifully insane acts I’ve ever witnessed.

We’ll start things off with this clip from a 1985 episode which features tap dancing sensation, Melissa Ann Ledwon.

This glorious display of flashy panache will undoubtedly change your life.

Stairway to Stardom (1985) – Melissa Ann Ledwon

There are plenty of “authentic NY slice” joints around here. And about half of them are pretty good. But as a connoisseur of the cheese slice (don’t you dare call it plain), there’s one thing that ultimately separates the good joints from the great — especially 20 minutes after last beer call.

The crust? The cheese? The sauce?

No.

The shakers.

I’m a condiment whore. Here are some petty things that impress me at the shaker counter.

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